COLORBURN

DCLXXXI: Preparing to Leave

2012-01-20T23:44:00.000-08:00

Lani Kai: I really haven't taken photos in the past few months
Lani Kai: too much life is getting in the way or something, and not exactly in the good way

DCLXXX: After the Rain

2011-12-18T01:12:00.000-08:00

Lani Kai: oh look a picture

DCLXXIX: June Lake Loop

2011-11-10T15:30:00.000-08:00

Lani Kai: I mean, it's not like I don't have any photos to post.

DCLXXVIII: Vineyard

2011-11-05T00:04:00.000-07:00

DCLXXVII: Foliage

2011-10-28T19:35:00.000-07:00

Lani Kai: I've heard the expressions "springtime" and "summertime" and possibly "wintertime" but never "falltime" or "autumntime."
Lani Kai: Why is that?

DCLXXVI: Fresh

2011-10-01T00:29:00.000-07:00

Lani Kai: woo new paint

DCLXXV: Summertime

2011-09-17T02:14:00.000-07:00

Lani Kai: I miss summer already.

DCLXXIV: Looking Back

2011-08-29T00:01:00.000-07:00

Lani Kai: Well, this blog appears to be slowly becoming what 99.9999% of all blogs out there become. That is, mostly forgotten.

Fun fact: Colorburn was first started on this day five years ago. Now, I don't mean to sound all wistful, but five years is kind of a long time, especially for a blog. A five-year-old blog is probably about 4,126 years old in human years, but somehow it's still limping along, managing to hold on to a small corner of my brain just enough to make me post something every now and then. Sure, I might only need one hand to be able to count the number of people that read this blog, but honestly, that doesn't really matter at this point. And nevermind that we get more visits from people Googling "kai greene nude pics," which apparently is not an uncommon search phrase. Someone landed here once with that, so I put it in the sidebar box cataloging the weird searches that bring people here, and that has acted as a sort of keyword spam that gets picked up by the Google crawler bot.

We were going to make this into a book. We didn't. It was supposed to bring us a stream of pocket change through sidebar ads. It didn't. But I look back, and that's okay.

Anyway, five years. In that time I've graduated from college, gone through numerous cameras (sold/traded them, not broken them), got a new job, and so on. DSLRs were still fairly uncommon when this blog started up, but now everyone has one, including ibleedgraphite although he quickly got bored with his. I've traveled quite a bit around the U.S. in the past five years and my tons of road trips have given me a solid 80,000+ miles on my car in that span. In fact the drive I made to San Luis Obispo to visit ibleedgraphite just a few weeks after this blog started up was the first time I ever went on a road trip without my family.

The past five years have seen many friends come and go. This blog, too, might one day see its last post. But I'm still good friends with ibleedgraphite and that means I don't have a reason to formally kill off the blog.

DCLXXVIII: A Guest Appears

2011-08-10T21:30:00.000-07:00

Anonymous: I don't think you're allowed to post pictures with one-sided comments.
Lani Kai: I think I'm allowed to do whatever I want.
Anonymous: Are not

*Ed note: Anonymous is a guest blogger from the comments section in DCLXXVII: Problems

DCLXXVII: Problems

2011-07-27T00:42:00.000-07:00

Lani Kai: so, part of the problem is that I'm never online anymore after buying a tablet
Lani Kai: there's just no real reason to turn on the computer these days
Lani Kai: the other problem is that I haven't really taken any pictures since May
Lani Kai: and the last time ibleedgraphite took any pictures was probably in 2009.

DCLXXVI: These Hills May Be Alive

2011-06-21T15:55:00.000-07:00

ibleedgraphite: it is like the opening scene of The Sound of Music

Lani Kai: a scene which apparently does not exist on YouTube
ibleedgraphite: are you kidding?
ibleedgraphite: some of the Google Image results for "sound of music dvd cover" are highly irrelevant
Lani Kai: those are just some hills
ibleedgraphite: yes
ibleedgraphite: well, the opening sequence has a fly-in shot
ibleedgraphite: where the hills are steeper

DCLXXV: Shiny New Features

2011-06-12T23:04:00.000-07:00

Lani Kai: I need to stop forgetting about the blog
Lani Kai: did you know you can embed location tags in Blogger now?
ibleedgraphite: but aren't you always posting from home?
Lani Kai: well, usually
Lani Kai: but I thought it would be nice to tag the photo location
ibleedgraphite: can you tag the location no matter where you are?
Lani Kai: yes

DCLXXIV: The End Is Nigh

2011-05-20T20:35:00.000-07:00

Lani Kai: I forgot we have a blog
Lani Kai: in other news, the world is ending tomorrow
Lani Kai: that is, until it ends again next year
ibleedgraphite: I guess I should spend all my money tonight
ibleedgraphite: why am I even at work?
Lani Kai: you tell me
Lani Kai: I am not at work

Ed. note: The bloggers behind Colorburn will probably not be raptured, so service for nonbelievers will continue as usual, even if it means we have to do stuff like this.

DCLXXIII: Communistical Dumplings

2011-04-28T23:48:00.000-07:00

ibleedgraphite: this looks like China

ibleedgraphite: when did you go to China?
Lani Kai: I drove there a couple of weeks ago
ibleedgraphite: how was it?
Lani Kai: communistical
ibleedgraphite: good dumplings though?
Lani Kai: yes
Lani Kai: the lead makes it especially flavorful

DCLXXII: The Better Tree

2011-04-20T12:28:00.000-07:00

Lani Kai: I actually have another tree image lined up that I like better
ibleedgraphite: you're right, that's much better
Lani Kai: it has more personality than the other
ibleedgraphite: but this one has conservative social views
Lani Kai: because it leans to the right?
ibleedgraphite: yes :)
Lani Kai: what if you look at it from the other side though
ibleedgraphite: oh, good point

DCLXXI: Even A Seemingly Perfect Tree Has Its Issues

2011-04-20T11:52:00.000-07:00

Lani Kai: is this not a perfect oak tree?
ibleedgraphite: yeah but I bet it has a crappy personality
Lani Kai: why do you say that?
ibleedgraphite: it seems stand-offish
ibleedgraphite: and wooden
ibleedgraphite: emo too, look at it crying for attention by standing so close to the edge

DCLXX: Flying

2011-04-02T22:58:00.000-07:00

Lani Kai: it's been far too long since the last post

ibleedgraphite: you're flying!
Lani Kai: yup

DCLXXIV: Not Picky

2011-03-06T22:24:00.000-08:00

ibleedgraphite: it is kind of nice

ibleedgraphite: will you make a 1680 x 1050 version so that I can use it as a desktop background
Lani Kai: ooh, praise doesn't come much higher than that
Lani Kai: incidentally, I'm using this as my desktop background as well
ibleedgraphite: well, I'm not very picky with my desktop backgrounds...
Lani Kai: what is it currently?
ibleedgraphite: the purple->orange gradient that comes with Windows

DCLXXIII: Delightfully Warm

2011-02-19T21:54:00.000-08:00

ibleedgraphite: this picture makes me feel like a homeless person out in the frigid cold
ibleedgraphite: and the light in those windows looks so warm and cozy
ibleedgraphite: it's very sad
Lani Kai: you could hang out in a subway station
ibleedgraphite: that's not warm
Lani Kai: fine, hang out behind a dry cleaner
ibleedgraphite: ooh
ibleedgraphite: that sounds delightful

DCLXXII: STILL WAITING

2011-02-17T22:17:00.000-08:00

ibleedgraphite: WAITING FOR BOTTOM HALF OF PICTURE TO LOAED
Lani Kai: UPGRADE YOUR INTERNETZ

DCLXXI: Floating Away

2011-02-12T22:48:00.000-08:00

ibleedgraphite: oh no

ibleedgraphite: San Francisco is floating away

Lani Kai: someone forgot to tie it down
Lani Kai: color or black and white?
ibleedgraphite: mmm
ibleedgraphite: the color is nice

DCLXX: Mostly

2011-01-17T21:58:00.000-08:00

ibleedgraphite: what is it covered with?
Lani Kai: some kind of mud/salt mix, I think
ibleedgraphite: plus bird poo
Lani Kai: that too
ibleedgraphite: mostly bird poo

DCLXIX: In Which Responsible Sodium Intake Is Advised

2011-01-03T20:51:00.000-08:00

Lani Kai: ooh, I'm not sure I'd want to go out on a boat on that lake
ibleedgraphite: there is probably a monster in the lake
Lani Kai: is it called Salty?
ibleedgraphite: yeah, salt is the REAL monster
ibleedgraphite: it causes diabetes and hypertension

DCLXVIII: Schizophrenia

2011-01-03T20:44:00.000-08:00

Lani Kai: someone asked me the other day why I'm the only one that posts on Colorburn anymore

ibleedgraphite: you should have told her that there is not really a co-blogger, but that you were schizophrenic for a long time
ibleedgraphite: and now you're better
Lani Kai: well, that explanation doesn't make sense because it's still being posted as a conversation
Lani Kai: incidentally, she had thought there were three of us because you changed your name
ibleedgraphite: I am just a figment of your psychosis

DCLXVII: Nondescript

2010-12-19T00:14:00.000-08:00

ibleedgraphite: how is the water so calm
Lani Kai: there are no outlets
Lani Kai: so it doesn't move anywhere
ibleedgraphite: you should really rename your files to be more descriptive
ibleedgraphite: it helps with the SEO

DCLXVI: Brainy

2010-12-18T23:57:00.000-08:00

Lani Kai: damn, I don't know if I can handle you posting so many photos
ibleedgraphite: is your brain going to explode?
Lani Kai: and leave an orange stain on a wood board
ibleedgraphite: which I will proudly display in my window
Lani Kai: I'm sure there is a modern art museum out there that would
ibleedgraphite: because your brain is so minimalist. LOL

DCLXV: Chief Concerns

2010-12-17T22:25:00.000-08:00

ibleedgraphite: so I have three pictures I liked from the Salton Sea
Lani Kai: cool
ibleedgraphite: one of them will undoubtedly be co-opted by you
ibleedgraphite: the second is okay, but not particularly unique
ibleedgraphite: so that leaves one
Lani Kai: or you could just post all three to balance things out a bit more
ibleedgraphite: that is not particularly concerning to me

DCLXIV: Grudging Approval

2010-12-17T21:39:00.000-08:00

Lani Kai: this one is somewhat uncharacteristic of you
ibleedgraphite: how is it uncharacteristic?
Lani Kai: the contrast is not as high as usual
ibleedgraphite: I switched to my brother's monitor as the primary, remember?
ibleedgraphite: on my end, it is as contrasty as they always were
Lani Kai: I guess it's good

DCLXIII: WANGLE

2010-12-17T21:31:00.000-08:00

ibleedgraphite: WANGLE is not a word
ibleedgraphite: cheater
Lani Kai: I didn't think so either

DCLXII: Laser Battle

2010-12-01T00:50:00.000-08:00

ibleedgraphite: wow nice, it looks like lasers
ibleedgraphite: pew pew pew
ibleedgraphite: this one seems noticeably jpeggy though
Lani Kai: yeah... the auto-sharpen was probably a bad idea
Lani Kai: I will redo
ibleedgraphite: there is like a faint tartan pattern
ibleedgraphite: lends a Scottish air to the scene

DCLXI: A Discourse On Art, Part II: Bollocks

2010-11-26T01:55:00.000-08:00

Lani Kai: I would rather look at a Thomas Kinkade work than a large canvas that is black, and a slightly darker shade of black
ibleedgraphite: are you serious?
ibleedgraphite: I hope you are not serious
Lani Kai: I am serious
ibleedgraphite: you cannot be serious
ibleedgraphite: I cannot let you say such a thing
Lani Kai: how can you possibly claim that a duotone canvas is any more or less artistic, or interesting, than a Kinkade?
ibleedgraphite: color field paintings fit into a cultural and rhetorical context
ibleedgraphite: it is like a pure bred dog, where you can trace the visual style all the way back to the beginning of abstraction
ibleedgraphite: with pseudo-impressionism in the 1850s
ibleedgraphite: Thomas Kinkade paintings come out of nowhere; they have no context except the immediate commercial one
Lani Kai: and what is wrong with that?
Lani Kai: art doesn't necessarily need historical context
ibleedgraphite: it doesn't, but it makes it more interesting
ibleedgraphite: every painting has a story, they used to actually put the story on the canvas
ibleedgraphite: but with modern art the story is in the reams of academic literature written about the painting
Lani Kai: so why don't you like automotive design, as an art form?
ibleedgraphite: because I dont know anything about it
ibleedgraphite: so I just go on superficial impressions
Lani Kai: see, and there's nothing inherently wrong about that

DCLX: Inconsiderate

2010-11-09T13:53:00.000-08:00

ibleedgraphite: what happened to the clouds?
Lani Kai: they moved
Lani Kai: it's a 10-second exposure
ibleedgraphite: how inconsiderate of them
Lani Kai: they're like the little children that won't sit still for the family picture
ibleedgraphite: and look, that one is putting bunny ears on the mountain

DCLIX: Election Day

2010-11-02T21:54:00.000-07:00

Lani Kai: this is only our 53rd post this year
Lani Kai: in September of 2006, we made 54 posts
ibleedgraphite: and the Democrats won big in 2006
ibleedgraphite: maybe if we posted more, they would win again
Lani Kai: well, clearly it's your fault then
Lani Kai: you've only posted 13, to my 40
Lani Kai: you posted 25 to my 29 in September of 2006
ibleedgraphite: I'll write a letter apologizing to Nancy Pelosi

DCLVIII: Stolen

2010-10-19T17:00:00.000-07:00

ibleedgraphite: I've seen that somewhere

Lani Kai: Facebook, probably
ibleedgraphite: ooor you stole it from Google
Lani Kai: ooor Google stole it from me
ibleedgraphite: very funny

DCLVII: Paid Blogging

2010-10-19T16:22:00.000-07:00

Lani Kai: I just found some draft posts where I uploaded pictures but you were offline
ibleedgraphite: ooh this is the first time we've done this while I am at work
ibleedgraphite: it's like I am being paid to blog

DCLVI: Tainted

2010-10-05T23:42:00.000-07:00

ibleedgraphite: your picture
ibleedgraphite: is like 500000 other pictures
ibleedgraphite: which are used to accompany the various evil incarnations of this poem
Lani Kai: sigh
Lani Kai: why did you have to mention this
Lani Kai: that is such a stupid poem
ibleedgraphite: does it poison your photo forever?
Lani Kai: I'm going to Photoshop the footprints out
ibleedgraphite: lol
ibleedgraphite: that would be a fun variation on the poem
ibleedgraphite: JESUS, there are usually two set of footprints, but sometimes at the worst times in my life, there is only one!!!
ibleedgraphite: it was during those times that I carried you
ibleedgraphite: but, also... sometmes theres no footprints at all! WTF is up with that?
ibleedgraphite: it was during those times that I got a helicopter
Lani Kai: okay, can we start over?

DCLV: Bitter Mood

2010-09-12T23:22:00.000-07:00

ibleedgraphite: right as I was about to sign off and go to sleep

ibleedgraphite: asshole
Lani Kai: why so early?
ibleedgraphite: 11:15
Lani Kai: is way early
ibleedgraphite: if I want to be a champion
ibleedgraphite: like your stupid whatever the heck that thing is
ibleedgraphite: I need to sleep

DCLIV: Frolic

2010-09-11T03:01:00.000-07:00

ibleedgraphite: you can frolic in the patch of snow and pretend it's Christmas

Lani Kai: except I've never actually frolicked in snow on Christmas

Lani Kai: because it doesn't snow here
ibleedgraphite: that's more realistic anyway
ibleedgraphite: Jesus didn't have snow

DCLIII: Blargh

2010-09-06T00:35:00.000-07:00

ibleedgraphite: that looks like vomit

Lani Kai: thank you
ibleedgraphite: but like, God's vomit

DCLII: Office Space

2010-08-29T00:48:00.000-07:00

ibleedgraphite: I washed my hair in the office bathroom today

Lani Kai: shampoo and everything?
ibleedgraphite: yes
ibleedgraphite: I think I will do it more
ibleedgraphite: then I don't have to take a shower at home

DCLI: Cheap

2010-08-23T20:16:00.000-07:00

ibleedgraphite: I need to get in on this long exposure racket
ibleedgraphite: it's so cheap
Lani Kai: actually it's not cheap
Lani Kai: the 9-stop neutral density filter cost $110

DCL: Renumerate

2010-08-22T22:36:00.000-07:00

ibleedgraphite: shouldn't it be DCIL?
Lani Kai: "IL" should never ever appear
Lani Kai: "I" can only be in front of "V" and "X", "L" is preceded by "X"
ibleedgraphite: XLIX seems inefficient compared to IL
Lani Kai: tell that to the Romans
Lani Kai: all of this is inefficient and pretentious compared to Arabic numerals anyway
ibleedgraphite: 0 was invented by the Arabs in order to describe your mom on a scale of 1 to 9

DCXLIX: Craigslist

2010-08-22T20:19:00.000-07:00

Lani Kai: I just tried to post a "for sale" ad for car parts on Craigslist and it said I needed to create an account

Lani Kai: it took me to the page to create an account, but I fear that in the process, it lost the post that I had created

ibleedgraphite: creating an account just means entering a email address and password

ibleedgraphite: it doesn't lose the post
Lani Kai: no, in the past it was like that
Lani Kai: but this one was more elaborate
Lani Kai: phone number verification and everything
ibleedgraphite: hm
ibleedgraphite: it's much easier to post a sex ad

DCXLVIII: DNA

2010-08-11T22:24:00.000-07:00

ibleedgraphite: no likey the colors
ibleedgraphite: the stairs look greasy or something
ibleedgraphite: like someone rubbed grease on them
ibleedgraphite: composition is hokay
ibleedgraphite: what you need is another set of stairs going the other way to make a double helix
ibleedgraphite: it would be like the DNA for a giant robot
Lani Kai: you could have designed that if you carried through with your architecture degree

DCXLVII: Snake

2010-08-06T23:06:00.000-07:00

ibleedgraphite: my phone pauses Snake so you can answer the phone
Lani Kai: games that don't pause when the phone rings are the worst
ibleedgraphite: no
ibleedgraphite: people who call while you are gaming are the worst

DCXLVI: AA-A

2010-07-31T17:55:00.000-07:00

Lani Kai: incidentally, the AA in England is the equivalent of AAA here
ibleedgraphite: are they doubly anonymous, or twice as alcoholic?
ibleedgraphite: oh wait, that would be if AAA was AA
Lani Kai: they come and tow your car
ibleedgraphite: I see, they have smaller cars so they only need two As

DCXLV: Mine

2010-07-29T23:54:00.000-07:00

ibleedgraphite:WTF
ibleedgraphite: one of the photoblogs we link to in our blogroll
ibleedgraphite: lists Colorburn in his blogroll as "Lani Kai's ColorBurn"
Lani Kai: ha

DCXLIV: Burninate

2010-07-29T23:18:00.000-07:00

Lani Kai: I don't know, you tell me what a good place to host photos is
ibleedgraphite: I guess I would just make a website that showed them all in a giant grid
Lani Kai: like so?
ibleedgraphite: kind of, but with good pictures
ibleedgraphite: BURN!

DCXLIII: Exploring

2010-07-28T16:49:00.000-07:00

Lani Kai: I have returned from the land of Lewis and Clark
ibleedgraphite: what land is that?
Lani Kai: the Pacific Northwest
ibleedgraphite: the academic decathlon topic for the year I was in it was Lewis and Clark
ibleedgraphite: I know far too much about it
ibleedgraphite: they had a dog with them named Seaman
ibleedgraphite: actually that's pretty much the only thing I remember
Lani Kai: hahaha
ibleedgraphite: but at some point I had 88 pages of Lewis and Clark trivia memorized
ibleedgraphite: so what did you discover?
ibleedgraphite: did you give trinkets to the native peoples?
Lani Kai: blankets with smallpox?
ibleedgraphite: Lewis and Clark did not do that

DCXLII: Fortississimo

2010-07-14T23:38:00.000-07:00

Lani Kai: what song is this?
ibleedgraphite: how the fuck would I know?
ibleedgraphite: is it called p subito, written by ffffmf
Lani Kai: no
Lani Kai: it is called Gaspard de la Nuit by Maurice Ravel
Lani Kai: I am now going to listen to it
ibleedgraphite: sneaky
ibleedgraphite: you would think nuit is a masculine noun
Lani Kai: the part in question with the fff is at 8:23

DCXLI: Not That Many

2010-07-10T01:00:00.000-07:00

ibleedgraphite: what are those little white dots?
Lani Kai: stars
ibleedgraphite: liar, there's not that many stars
Lani Kai: what else could they be?
ibleedgraphite: dust specks
Lani Kai: oh come on, you saw them in Northern California
Lani Kai: there were many more than can be seen in this picture
ibleedgraphite: ok fine

DCXL: Undercover

2010-07-09T00:19:00.000-07:00

ibleedgraphite: this one is too good
ibleedgraphite: you'll blow our cover
ibleedgraphite: people are supposed to think we actually took the photos we post
ibleedgraphite: you don't want to end up like Anna Chapman
ibleedgraphite: her cover got blown, and look what happened
Lani Kai: I have a series of good photos from time to time
Lani Kai: I don't think they will notice
Lani Kai: it is within the bounds of statistical error
ibleedgraphite: not this good
ibleedgraphite: this is like 10 standard deviations away from the average

DCXXXIX: Ninjombie

2010-07-08T23:47:00.000-07:00

Lani Kai: I cannot find my camera charger
Lani Kai: I put it on the floor in my room when i got back from my trip; it has since disappeared
ibleedgraphite: zombies took it
ibleedgraphite: or you moved it and forgot
Lani Kai: I'm leaning toward the former
Lani Kai: however a zombie problem is previously unheard of
ibleedgraphite: they are very small
Lani Kai: are you sure those are zombies?
ibleedgraphite: I could be mistaken
ibleedgraphite: perhaps very small ninjas
Lani Kai: they could be regular size ninjas; you still wouldn't notice
ibleedgraphite: regular ninjas kill you in your sleep
ibleedgraphite: mini ninjas steal your camera charger

DCXXXVIII: Misunderstood

2010-07-02T23:23:00.000-07:00

Lani Kai: you need to learn how to rotate your photos properly
Lani Kai: and how to make them not green
ibleedgraphite: it's more intuitive to visually scan a horizontal composition than a vertical one
Lani Kai: okay, and it's somehow intuitive to make some shoes hang sideways
Lani Kai: I completely understand now

DCXXXVII: Woosh

2010-07-02T22:54:00.000-07:00

ibleedgraphite: those clouds are really zooming by

Lani Kai: yep
ibleedgraphite: they're like
ibleedgraphite: foooosh
Lani Kai: woosh
ibleedgraphite: no, that's the sound the water is making
ibleedgraphite: as it zooms by
Lani Kai: oh okay
ibleedgraphite: but the trees are just like, meh
Lani Kai: well, if you look at full resolution
Lani Kai: they are whispering

DCXXXVI: Epic Tree Man

2010-06-23T22:52:00.000-07:00

bleedgraphite: if I were a tree, I'd choose a better place to grow
ibleedgraphite: also, the tree version of me wouldn't want to be friends with this tree
Lani Kai: why is that?
ibleedgraphite: tree Jerry would get nervous when this tree got on the bus or train
ibleedgraphite: it looks crazy

DCXXXV: Up What

2010-06-23T22:03:00.000-07:00

Lani Kai: "what are you up to?"
Lani Kai: how can I say that without ending with a preposition?
Lani Kai: to what up are you?
Lani Kai: up to what, you are?

ibleedgraphite: are you up to something; if so, what is it?
ibleedgraphite: to what are you up?
Lani Kai: that ends in a preposition

DCXXXIV: Advertising

2010-06-21T23:57:00.000-07:00

Lani Kai: apparently the California legislature is considering advertising on license plates
ibleedgraphite: it would be cheaper to just put a crapload of ads at the DMV
ibleedgraphite: there is a captive audience
Lani Kai: that's a good idea
ibleedgraphite: and they should set up a concession stand
ibleedgraphite: people get hungry waiting for their driving tests
Lani Kai: and a Wi-Fi hotspot
ibleedgraphite: yeah, Starbucks better watch out
ibleedgraphite: DMV is the new place to hang out
ibleedgraphite: Department of Mocha Venti

DCXXXIII: Controversial

2010-06-20T21:03:00.000-07:00

Original Image 1 2

ibleedgraphite: is this the controversial one?
Lani Kai: yes
ibleedgraphite: I don't know why
Lani Kai: well, I don't actually think anyone took exception to it
ibleedgraphite: right, but it looks completely innocuous to me

DCXXXII: Atypical

2010-06-13T23:06:00.000-07:00

View Uncropped

Lani Kai: the low contrast and saturation is somewhat atypical
Lani Kai: you need to go take pictures instead of using old film scans though
Lani Kai: when was the last time you used your XS?
ibleedgraphite: when I took naked pictures of myself in the mirror this morning
ibleedgraphite: ...just kidding

DCXXXI: Impostor

2010-06-13T22:59:00.000-07:00

ibleedgraphite: nice try
ibleedgraphite: who are you, what did you do to Lani Kai
Lani Kai: you must like this picture
Lani Kai: that happens like twice a year
Lani Kai: although last year I had like five in a row that you liked
ibleedgraphite: stop talking like you're actually Lani Kai
ibleedgraphite: I'm calling the police
Lani Kai: this is peculiar, because no one liked any of the photos in the Colorado set
Lani Kai: zero comments on Facebook
Lani Kai: not even a single "like"

DCXXX: Upgrade

2010-06-06T23:39:00.000-07:00

ibleedgraphite: I thought you went to Colorado
Lani Kai: I did
ibleedgraphite: why do you have pictures from Saudi Arabia
Lani Kai: as well as New Mexico
ibleedgraphite: is that better than old Mexico?
Lani Kai: only slightly
ibleedgraphite: firmware upgrade?
Lani Kai: something like that

DCXXIX: More Blues

2010-06-06T22:35:00.000-07:00

ibleedgraphite:you get to choose: blue or orange
Lani Kai: blue

...

Lani Kai: there also appears to be a hair or something on the top left corner
ibleedgraphite: it's called a punctum
ibleedgraphite: if you had picked orange, you would have gotten some Joshua Tree clouds
Lani Kai: that can come tomorrow or something then
ibleedgraphite: nope, you already chose; you can never go down that path
ibleedgraphite: that's like if Neo took both pills at the same time
Lani Kai: well he should have
Lani Kai: or at least, he should have taken one, then asked for the other at a later time
ibleedgraphite: that wasn't covered by his HMOrpheus

DCXXVIII: Blue Sand

2010-06-04T20:22:00.000-07:00

ibleedgraphite: it looks like
ibleedgraphite: blue sand
ibleedgraphite: with little lines raked into it like a Japanese rock garden
ibleedgraphite: except that it's a huge rock garden
Lani Kai: something like that

DCXXVII: I'm Not On A Boat

2010-05-18T22:12:00.000-07:00

ibleedgraphite: were you on a boat?
Lani Kai: no
Lani Kai: we can still listen to the song though

DCXXVI: MDCCCXCV

2010-05-10T20:48:00.000-07:00

ibleedgraphite: do you know what else happened in 1895?
Lani Kai: yes
Lani Kai: the Sino-Japanese War
ibleedgraphite: April 16 – The town of Sturgeon Falls, Ontario, is incorporated.

DCXXV: Chroni-what?

2010-04-25T22:40:00.000-07:00

ibleedgraphite: in Narnia, there is a random lamppost in the middle of the forest
ibleedgraphite: "Resembling a London streetlamp it stood in the middle of the forest and shone day and night."
Lani Kai: is it of any significance in the story?
ibleedgraphite: well, it's a major landmark; the whole area is called the Lantern Waste after it
ibleedgraphite: when Lucy first enters Narnia through the wardrobe, it's where she meets Mr. Tumnus the faun

DCXXIV: Implication

2010-04-19T00:13:00.000-07:00

ibleedgraphite: drunkard
ibleedgraphite: alcohol is sinful
ibleedgraphite: repent
Lani Kai: it's okay because I don't drive after I've had a drink
ibleedgraphite: I don't like what you're implying

DCXXIII: Problems

2010-04-12T23:39:00.000-07:00

ibleedgraphite: so what did you do yesterday?
Lani Kai: went back out to Carrizo Plain
Lani Kai: took pictures and did some off-roading
ibleedgraphite: what the heck
ibleedgraphite: did you leave and come back in the same day?
Lani Kai: yes
Lani Kai: as I did last time
ibleedgraphite: sigh
ibleedgraphite: I think you have a problem

DCXXII: Outdated

2010-04-08T21:53:00.000-07:00

ibleedgraphite: you made me lose the game I was playing
Lani Kai: what game was it?
ibleedgraphite: Starcraft II
Lani Kai: oh
Lani Kai: whatever then
ibleedgraphite: would you have been sympathetic if it was something else?
Lani Kai: maybe
Lani Kai: is it just me, or was it like eleventy-five years between Starcraft and Starcraft II?
ibleedgraphite: only 14 actually
Lani Kai: that would be like coming out with Pong II

DCXXI: Overruled

2010-03-26T02:10:00.000-07:00

Lani Kai: did you know that if you let z = the radius of a circle
Lani Kai: pi*z*z=a?
ibleedgraphite: a = pi*eceofshit
ibleedgraphite: where eceofshit = radius squared
Lani Kai: variables are not supposed to be 9 letters long
ibleedgraphite: stop making up rules

DCXX: Upgrades

2010-03-25T20:53:00.000-07:00

Lani Kai: what do you think of Creative Suite 5?
ibleedgraphite: umm
ibleedgraphite: hmm
ibleedgraphite: 5 is a higher number than 4
ibleedgraphite: and that's all I know
Lani Kai: ok
Lani Kai: I'm going to skip Windows 7 and upgrade to Windows 2000

DCXIX: It's Been A While

2010-03-14T21:01:00.000-07:00

ibleedgraphite: hmm, that is rather nice
Lani Kai: that's not something you say often about landscape photos
ibleedgraphite: how did you get the sky to change color between the left and right
Lani Kai: that's kind of what happens when the sun is setting
ibleedgraphite: yeah, right
Lani Kai: I'm not sure if you're saying that in agreement or in scorn

DCXVIII: Qu'est-ce que c'est?

2010-02-23T23:32:00.000-08:00

ibleedgraphite: c'est un fleur
Lani Kai: ceci n'est pas un fleur
ibleedgraphite: well, you don't know what "ce" is referring to
Lani Kai: neither do you
ibleedgraphite: touché

DCXVII: Irrelevant

2010-02-13T19:16:00.000-08:00

ibleedgraphite: that's lovely
ibleedgraphite: except there appear to be patches of poisonous brown algae floating at the top
Lani Kai: what do you expect from LA?
ibleedgraphite: mean police officers
ibleedgraphite: but I guess that is not relevant

DCXVI: Playing With Fire

2010-02-06T23:40:00.000-08:00

ibleedgraphite: what the hell is that
Lani Kai: a candle holder
Lani Kai: filled with ethyl alcohol which was lit on fire
Lani Kai: and then we sprayed some butane on it
ibleedgraphite: it's purty

DCXV: Deterministic

2010-02-04T01:06:00.000-08:00

Lani Kai: I'm not going to ask the inevitable
ibleedgraphite: 1. if it's inevitable, you're going to ask it anyway so you might as well
ibleedgraphite: 2. if it's not inevitable, you don't have any compunction against not asking it, so you might as well
Lani Kai: that is a fair point; I will attempt to put off asking the inevitable for as long as possible
ibleedgraphite: how about you provide the first and last words of the question, and I will infer the middle part
Lani Kai: the... this?
ibleedgraphite: "the photograph is incredibly awesome; why is this?"
ibleedgraphite: it's because I turned it upside down

DCXIV: Amnesia

2010-02-04T00:48:00.002-08:00

ibleedgraphite: I don't remember signing a model release
Lani Kai: that is only necessary if I want to sell the photo
Lani Kai: besides, this is clearly a miniature of you
Lani Kai: on a miniature riverbed
ibleedgraphite: I don't remember signing a miniature model release
Lani Kai: like I said...

DCXIII: The Other Side

2010-01-29T01:16:00.000-08:00

ibleedgraphite: the door on the other side looks really small
Lani Kai: well, it's only about 8 inches high
ibleedgraphite: for the leprechauns that work at Kaiser Permanente?

DCXII: Manipulation

2010-01-27T00:53:00.000-08:00

ibleedgraphite: the clouds near the horizon seem like they have linear burn applied
Lani Kai: I wouldn't know
ibleedgraphite: linear burn decrease brightness to darken the base color and reflect the blend color
Lani Kai: if you say so
Lani Kai: I've probably never used it before
ibleedgraphite: it looks like the clouds started a little lighter
ibleedgraphite: and were blended with the orange via linear burn
Lani Kai: I don't use blending options
ibleedgraphite: blending modes are the best
ibleedgraphite: do you at least use multiply?
Lani Kai: no
ibleedgraphite: if I have a Photoshop file with more than 10 layers
ibleedgraphite: chances are at least one is set to multiply
Lani Kai: I don't ever have more than 10 layers
Lani Kai: on extremely rare occasions
Lani Kai: I might have as many as two layers
ibleedgraphite: including adjustment layers?
Lani Kai: I don't really use that either
Lani Kai: god, how much photo manipulation are you doing?

DCXI: Strategy

2010-01-25T00:26:00.000-08:00

ibleedgraphite: what does the phrase "strategic partnership" mean?
Lani Kai: that they will strategically take advantage of you and run away with all the money?
ibleedgraphite: well, how is that different from a regular partnership
Lani Kai: a regular partnership is not necessarily strategic
Lani Kai: maybe he will punch you and take your money and run
ibleedgraphite: I have strategically not stepped outside today

DCX: Malfunction

2010-01-19T22:23:00.000-08:00

Lani Kai: http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_slGQVw4YPvI/S1ac1CKAfnI/AAAAAAAABFQ/RdHToGnqZxQ/s1600-h/OM180399.jpg
ibleedgraphite: what?
Lani Kai: what
ibleedgraphite: it said you said something
Lani Kai: http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_slGQVw4YPvI/S1ac1CKAfnI/AAAAAAAABFQ/RdHToGnqZxQ/s1600-h/OM180399.jpg
iibleedgraphite: you did it again
Lani Kai: what the hell are you talking about
ibleedgraphite: it keeps showing your screen name as if you typed a message
ibleedgraphite: but there is no message

DCIX: Reddy or Not

2010-01-16T21:20:00.000-08:00

ibleedgraphite: this is red
Lani Kai: that is red

DCVIII: Tied Down

2010-01-09T00:03:00.000-08:00

Lani Kai: so you know how "SOS" is ***---***
Lani Kai: "3TIE" is ***---***
Lani Kai: how do you differentiate?
ibleedgraphite: I don't think you need to
ibleedgraphite: wearing 3 ties is clearly a fashion emergency requiring immediate relief

DCVII: Niche Market

2010-01-03T00:31:00.000-08:00

ibleedgraphite: nurf
Lani Kai: nerf?
ibleedgraphite: no, that's trademarked
Lani Kai: are you allowed to have homophonic product names?
Lani Kai: like an App-Oh Eyepod?
ibleedgraphite: great, mp3 player for autistic Koreans

DCVI: Distractions

2009-12-31T20:57:00.000-08:00

ibleedgraphite: the orange bit is pretty cool
ibleedgraphite: perhaps you should focus on that
Lani Kai: and crop the background out?
ibleedgraphite: or something

...

ibleedgraphite: hm, the background is still distracting to me
Lani Kai: don't be so easily distracted then
ibleedgraphite: okay
ibleedgraphite: I will cut a hole in a sheet of white paper the shape of the wooden thing
ibleedgraphite: and place it over the monitor when I need to look at your picture

DCV: Annoying

2009-12-31T20:44:00.000-08:00

Lani Kai: this is the kind of photo your mother would like, if not for the missing petals
ibleedgraphite: I like it for the annoyingly saturated colors

DCIV: Trickery

2009-12-31T20:30:00.000-08:00

Lani Kai: that is rather Ansel Adams-y
Lani Kai: I like the light
ibleedgraphite: it is artificial
ibleedgraphite: there's actually very little contrast
ibleedgraphite: changing the levels that much messed up the color, which is hidden by the bw
ibleedgraphite: I've probably never taken a correctly exposed photo in my life that turned out well

DCIII: Freedom of Thought

2009-12-30T22:12:00.000-08:00

ibleedgraphite: that is an evil sign
ibleedgraphite: it just made me think of parking there
Lani Kai: it is
Lani Kai: are you supposed to stop or not?
ibleedgraphite: oh
ibleedgraphite: I was only looking at the bottom one
ibleedgraphite: you seem to enjoy taking pictures of signs on the sides of roads
Lani Kai: perhaps

DCII: In Popular Culture

2009-12-29T23:06:00.000-08:00

ibleedgraphite: hmm
ibleedgraphite: I believe that building was designed by Renzo Piano
ibleedgraphite: and it was blown up by aliens in Independence Day
ibleedgraphite: aliens don't like postmodern architecture
Lani Kai: "The building was designed by Henry N. Cobb of the architectural firm Pei Cobb Freed & Partners and cost $350 million to build."
ibleedgraphite: oh, okay
ibleedgraphite: that makes more sense
Lani Kai: the Wikipedia article also doesn't say anything about Independence Day
Lani Kai: which means it didn't happen
ibleedgraphite: I'll add it then
ibleedgraphite: the page needs an "In Popular Culture" section
Lani Kai: I'll flag it with [citation needed]

DCI: Premium Photography

2009-12-27T18:57:00.000-08:00

Lani Kai: nulla facilisi vivamus blandit

ibleedgraphite: I presume the word above is BEST
Lani Kai: yes
Lani Kai: what is the word under it?
ibleedgraphite: hmm
ibleedgraphite: SUV?
Lani Kai: no
ibleedgraphite: darn
Lani Kai: it's a clothing store
ibleedgraphite: CLOTHES
Lani Kai: no, it was jeans
Lani Kai: now guess the clothing store chain
ibleedgraphite: um
ibleedgraphite: American Apparel
Lani Kai: nope
ibleedgraphite: Target
Lani Kai: haha no
ibleedgraphite: I believe I need a clue
Lani Kai: 3 brands owned by this chain
ibleedgraphite: Gap?
Lani Kai: yep
ibleedgraphite: false advertising

DC: Trippy

2009-12-26T01:13:00.000-08:00

ibleedgraphite: trippy
Lani Kai: actually "trippy" would be more relevant if this were at Death Valley
Lani Kai: "The philosopher Michel Foucault called his 1975 acid trip at Zabriskie Point the greatest experience of his life."
Lani Kai: but it ties in with the next line in that article
Lani Kai: This location is featured prominently on the cover of U2's album The Joshua Tree.
ibleedgraphite: was that before or after the pendulum?
Lani Kai: what pendulum?
ibleedgraphite: Foucault's pendulum?
Lani Kai: or did you mean panopticon
ibleedgraphite: pretty sure it was a pendulum
Lani Kai: [citation needed]
ibleedgraphite: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Foucault_pendulum
ibleedgraphite: and dont accuse me of writing this whole article just now
Lani Kai: wrong Foucault
Lani Kai: nice going

DCXCIX: Nonsense

2009-12-26T00:46:00.000-08:00

ibleedgraphite: how fast does it go?
Lani Kai: umm
Lani Kai: probably just under 200mph
ibleedgraphite: i meant the shutter speed
Lani Kai: that makes no sense at all
ibleedgraphite: shut up

DXCVIII: Bzz

2009-12-17T22:31:00.000-08:00

Lani Kai: is it turned toward you?
ibleedgraphite: yes, it is ready for its close-up
Lani Kai: why the black and white?
Lani Kai: and it's like a mild black and white by your standards
ibleedgraphite: moving the levels enough to bring out the highlights in the bee
ibleedgraphite: blew out the background on the right, which is like exactly the same shade of gray
ibleedgraphite: and I was too lazy to make the adjustments manually

DXCVII: Slight Coincidence

2009-12-14T20:03:00.000-08:00

ibleedgraphite: hey, that's pretty

Lani Kai: it's the same place as this photo

Lani Kai: I realized that after I pulled over in the dark

ibleedgraphite: what a strange coincidence

Lani Kai: only slightly, because I wanted to get some Joshua tree silhouettes

Lani Kai: and there aren't very many places in Joshua Tree National Park where you can get lots of Joshua trees in the shot

Lani Kai: this area probably has the densest group that is visible, from the road anyway

DXCVI: Sporty

2009-12-13T02:24:00.000-08:00

ibleedgraphite: what does the sport button do?
Lani Kai: it makes things sporty
Lani Kai: i.e. firmer suspension, less intrusive stability control, faster gear change, etc
ibleedgraphite: oh, like sporty spice

DXCV: New and Improved

2009-12-07T23:56:00.000-08:00

ibleedgraphite: cheater
ibleedgraphite: I posted this like 3 years ago
ibleedgraphite: thought I wouldn't notice?
Lani Kai: mine is better
ibleedgraphite: that's because you already saw mine
Lani Kai: Colorburn is always striving for improvement
ibleedgraphite: mine is original
Lani Kai: yours is unpolished
Lani Kai: it's the beta release
ibleedgraphite: well mine already has all the market share
ibleedgraphite: so nyeh
Lani Kai: yours has a manufacturing defect and needs to be recalled
ibleedgraphite: people already love mine, they don't want to be bothered with new and so-called improved stuff which is merely repackaged and more expensive and harder to use
Lani Kai: you engage in unethical practices
Lani Kai: my waterdrops were unharmed in the making of this photograph

Lani Kai: I don't think the same can be said about yours

DXCIV: Running Away

2009-12-07T01:34:00.000-08:00

ibleedgraphite: how long does it take a normal person to run a mile?
Lani Kai: normal as in the average overweight American?
Lani Kai: or someone like you and me
ibleedgraphite: the kind of person who would know how long it takes them to run a mile

Lani Kai: 7-8 minutes, maybe
ibleedgraphite: all the people on Yahoo! Answers
ibleedgraphite: are apparently very nimble
ibleedgraphite: according to Yahoo!
ibleedgraphite: "It seems to me that a 15-year-old male should be running about a 5:30 to 6:00 mile."

ibleedgraphite: maybe if something was chasing them

DXCIII: Feel Like Barting

2009-12-03T22:08:00.000-08:00

Lani Kai: better
ibleedgraphite: ok, now say something else
Lani Kai: this could be an ad for the white shoes
ibleedgraphite: or for public transportation
Lani Kai: put a slogan on it
ibleedgraphite: "I got BART all over my shoes!"

DXCII: Sliding About

2009-12-03T01:02:00.000-08:00

View Histogram

ibleedgraphite: I bet I can tell what the histogram for this picture looks like
ibleedgraphite: and it would make a great playground slide
Lani Kai: as it turns out, I think it would be rather scary
ibleedgraphite: and as the little kiddies are playing around the slide
ibleedgraphite: you can use this camera to sneak pictures of them for your private enjoyment