DXCIII: Feel Like Barting

© Colorburn

Lani Kai: better 
ibleedgraphite: ok, now say something else
Lani Kai: this could be an ad for the white shoes
ibleedgraphite: or for public transportation
Lani Kai: put a slogan on it
ibleedgraphite: "I got BART all over my shoes!"

DXCII: Sliding About

© Colorburn

View Histogram

ibleedgraphite: I bet I can tell what the histogram for this picture looks like
ibleedgraphite: and it would make a great playground slide
Lani Kai: as it turns out, I think it would be rather scary
ibleedgraphite: and as the little kiddies are playing around the slide
ibleedgraphite: you can use this camera to sneak pictures of them for your private enjoyment

DXCI: Old Material

© Colorburn

Lani Kai: I need to go take pictures somewhere
Lani Kai: I find it hard to believe but it's already been three weeks since I went away
ibleedgraphite: wow, really?
Lani Kai: this means I've been posting pictures from the same trip for three weeks

DXC: Decisiveness

© Colorburn

ibleedgraphite: why were you hiding in the foliage?
Lani Kai: waiting for the decisive moment
ibleedgraphite: sounds like terrorist-talk
Lani Kai: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Henri_Cartier-Bresson#The_Decisive_Moment
ibleedgraphite: why couldn't the decisive moment have been less blurry in the bottom right?
Lani Kai: because the decisive moment was best photographed at f/1.8
ibleedgraphite: you say that very decisively

DLXXXIX: "That Internet is So You"

© Colorburn

ibleedgraphite: what is that green rectangle an ad for?
Lani Kai: Yahoo!
ibleedgraphite: rather brilliant place for an ad
ibleedgraphite: although not entirely relevant in context
ibleedgraphite: if it were a Google ad, it'd be like
ibleedgraphite: "find the best and cheapest flatirons in your area"

DLXXXVIII: One in a Million Ten Million

© Colorburn

ibleedgraphite: I think my camera has a dead pixel
ibleedgraphite: I don't suppose it can be revived
Lani Kai: if you take it to Canon I believe they can re-map it
ibleedgraphite: that sounds complicated
Lani Kai: you could make a Photoshop action to clone it out; just take the next pixel over or something
ibleedgraphite: I think I will let it rest in peace for now until it starts hurting people
Lani Kai: that would be a zombie pixel
Lani Kai: I think you should give it a proper burial
Lani Kai: I mean, think of all the pixels around it
Lani Kai: you wouldn't want a dead body sitting next to you all the time would you?
ibleedgraphite: well, it's not really noticeable most of the time
Lani Kai: it's not noticeable because you take mostly dark pictures?
ibleedgraphite: actually it appears as 100% white
Lani Kai: oh, that's not a dead pixel, that's a stuck pixel
ibleedgraphite: how comforting, it is merely stuck
Lani Kai: that's the worst
Lani Kai: that means it can't go to heaven or hell
Lani Kai: so it comes out to haunt you
ibleedgraphite: oh, I was thinking like stuck in a tree
ibleedgraphite: it just has to climb down
ibleedgraphite: c'mon little pixel, you can do it
Lani Kai: maybe if you bring it a ladder
ibleedgraphite: okay, I'll take a picture of a ladder

DLXXXVII: Number Games

© Colorburn

ibleedgraphite: I have my own style of accounting
Lani Kai: making up numbers?
Lani Kai: asking other people?
ibleedgraphite: usually, I type in numbers and hit the "grade" button until one of them is right
Lani Kai: would you say you have a passion for accounting?
ibleedgraphite: if you're asking if I would have sex with accounting
ibleedgraphite: the answer is
ibleedgraphite: um
ibleedgraphite: if it has a nice ASSet
ibleedgraphite: then yes, maybe
Lani Kai: you'll probably insert it in the wrong column and later discover that it's just liabilities

DLXXXVI: Unsmall

© Colorburn

ibleedgraphite: why is it so small?
Lani Kai: what are you talking about?
ibleedgraphite: it looks like something you stole from Google
Lani Kai: it's the usual size
Lani Kai: I think you're crazy

DLXXXV: Uncentered

© Colorburn

View Uncropped

Lani Kai: not so sure about it being dead center
ibleedgraphite: what do you mean?
Lani Kai: the impact point is at the very center of the image
ibleedgraphite: I think you're crazy

DLXXXIV: Lucky Shot

© Colorburn

Lani Kai: great, you've commented on the two photos I was going to post next
ibleedgraphite: woot, go me
Lani Kai: no, go me
ibleedgraphite: why go you?
Lani Kai: um
Lani Kai: for taking good pictures
ibleedgraphite: oh
ibleedgraphite: everyone gets lucky sometimes

DLXXXIII: You're Fired

© Colorburn

ibleedgraphite: did you know that what's-her-face just published an autobiography
ibleedgraphite: Donald Trump's daughter
Lani Kai: no
ibleedgraphite: Ivanka
ibleedgraphite: which is like Ivana, if you cough at the end
Lani Kai: ok?
ibleedgraphite: I thought it was relevant
ibleedgraphite: because it says Trump Tower at the bottom
Lani Kai: I didn't take a picture of the Trump Tower because I had any interest in Donald Trump's family matters
ibleedgraphite: what do you want me to say?
Lani Kai: I dunno
ibleedgraphite: the scrawny little trees on the terraces are like Donald Trump's sad attempt at hair?
Lani Kai: "ooh, that's where they film The Apprentice"
Lani Kai: or that it's the 49th tallest building in New York
ibleedgraphite: wow
ibleedgraphite: those are clearly extremely important and fascinating insights
Lani Kai: I know right?
ibleedgraphite: I can't imagine how awesome it felt to stand down there
ibleedgraphite: looking up at the building where they film The Apprentice
Lani Kai: it's times like these that i know I've failed
Lani Kai: you don't like the picture at all, do you?

DLXXXII: Syllogism

© Colorburn

ibleedgraphite: is that better?
Lani Kai: yes
ibleedgraphite: because it's bigger
ibleedgraphite: bigger = better
Lani Kai: so what you're saying is
Lani Kai: my pictures are better than yours

DLXXXI: Unwanted

© Colorburn

Lani Kai: wouldn't want to sleep on that
ibleedgraphite: the owners didn't either
ibleedgraphite: that's why they dragged it outside

DLXXX: Timely Warning

© Colorburn

ibleedgraphite: the tagline is about mortgages and having trouble paying off debts
ibleedgraphite: how timely
Lani Kai: do you suppose the building was abandoned because they couldn't pay the mortgage?
Lani Kai: maybe they set fire to it to try to claim insurance
ibleedgraphite: Barbara Cartland was trying to warn them
ibleedgraphite: and they repay her by burning her book

DLXXIX: Free For All

© Colorburn

ibleedgraphite: Motel Henning
ibleedgraphite: what is a Henning?
ibleedgraphite: oh, it also says FREE
ibleedgraphite: free Hennings!
ibleedgraphite: woot
Lani Kai: so is that the name of the place?
ibleedgraphite: apparently

DLXXVIII: Faded

© Colorburn

Lani Kai: that looks like a faded slide that was scanned
Lani Kai: 40-year-old Kodachrome
ibleedgraphite: I will consider that a compliment

DLXXVII: Your Turn

© Colorburn

Lani Kai: don't be one of those people that posts pictures without rotating them
ibleedgraphite: turn your head
Lani Kai: I did, and it looked better

DLXXVI: Things We Would Rather Read

© Colorburn

Lani Kai:
Dear Amazon.com Customer,

As someone who has purchased or rated books by Chinua Achebe, you might like to know that The Education of a British-Protected Child: Essays will be released on October 6, 2009. You can pre-order yours at a savings of $8.48 by following the link below.
The Education of a British-Protected Child: Essays
Chinua Achebe
List Price: $24.95
Price: $16.47
You Save: $8.48 (34%)

Release Date: October 6, 2009
ibleedgraphite: that has to be the least exciting title ever
Lani Kai: seriously
Lani Kai: I can't even tell you how much that makes me not want to read it
ibleedgraphite: I would rather read the warranty for my TV

DLXXV: Not Real

© Colorburn

ibleedgraphite: what kind of feelings do you get?
Lani Kai: I'm slightly annoyed by composites, actually
Lani Kai: and that's all you've been posting lately
Lani Kai: go out and take some real photos
ibleedgraphite: you must also be against interracial marriage
ibleedgraphite: racist

DLXXIV: Waiting

© Colorburn

Lani Kai: stop stealing my images
ibleedgraphite: did you ask the grass to sign a contract for the exclusive right to photograph them?

ibleedgraphite: by combining two crappy photos, I create tension and context

Lani Kai: the Russians already did that in the 1920s
ibleedgraphite: well, there are no black people in Russia, so mine is still special