DCLXI: A Discourse On Art, Part II: Bollocks

 © Colorburn

Lani Kai: I would rather look at a Thomas Kinkade work than a large canvas that is black, and a slightly darker shade of black
ibleedgraphite: are you serious?
ibleedgraphite: I hope you are not serious
Lani Kai: I am serious
ibleedgraphite: you cannot be serious
ibleedgraphite: I cannot let you say such a thing
Lani Kai: how can you possibly claim that a duotone canvas is any more or less artistic, or interesting, than a Kinkade?
ibleedgraphite: color field paintings fit into a cultural and rhetorical context
ibleedgraphite: it is like a pure bred dog, where you can trace the visual style all the way back to the beginning of abstraction
ibleedgraphite: with pseudo-impressionism in the 1850s
ibleedgraphite: Thomas Kinkade paintings come out of nowhere; they have no context except the immediate commercial one
Lani Kai: and what is wrong with that?
Lani Kai: art doesn't necessarily need historical context
ibleedgraphite: it doesn't, but it makes it more interesting
ibleedgraphite: every painting has a story, they used to actually put the story on the canvas
ibleedgraphite: but with modern art the story is in the reams of academic literature written about the painting
Lani Kai: so why don't you like automotive design, as an art form?
ibleedgraphite: because I dont know anything about it
ibleedgraphite: so I just go on superficial impressions
Lani Kai: see, and there's nothing inherently wrong about that

DCLX: Inconsiderate

© Colorburn

ibleedgraphite: what happened to the clouds?
Lani Kai: they moved
Lani Kai: it's a 10-second exposure
ibleedgraphite: how inconsiderate of them
Lani Kai: they're like the little children that won't sit still for the family picture
ibleedgraphite: and look, that one is putting bunny ears on the mountain

DCLIX: Election Day

© Colorburn

Lani Kai: this is only our 53rd post this year
Lani Kai: in September of 2006, we made 54 posts
ibleedgraphite: and the Democrats won big in 2006
ibleedgraphite: maybe if we posted more, they would win again
Lani Kai: well, clearly it's your fault then
Lani Kai: you've only posted 13, to my 40
Lani Kai: you posted 25 to my 29 in September of 2006
ibleedgraphite: I'll write a letter apologizing to Nancy Pelosi

DCLVIII: Stolen

© Colorburn

ibleedgraphite: I've seen that somewhere

Lani Kai: Facebook, probably
ibleedgraphite: ooor you stole it from Google
Lani Kai: ooor Google stole it from me
ibleedgraphite: very funny

DCLVII: Paid Blogging

© Colorburn

Lani Kai: I just found some draft posts where I uploaded pictures but you were offline
ibleedgraphite: ooh this is the first time we've done this while I am at work
ibleedgraphite: it's like I am being paid to blog

DCLVI: Tainted

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ibleedgraphite: your picture
ibleedgraphite: is like 500000 other pictures
ibleedgraphite: which are used to accompany the various evil incarnations of this poem
Lani Kai: sigh
Lani Kai: why did you have to mention this
Lani Kai: that is such a stupid poem
ibleedgraphite: does it poison your photo forever?
Lani Kai: I'm going to Photoshop the footprints out
ibleedgraphite: lol
ibleedgraphite: that would be a fun variation on the poem
ibleedgraphite: JESUS, there are usually two set of footprints, but sometimes at the worst times in my life, there is only one!!!
ibleedgraphite: it was during those times that I carried you
ibleedgraphite: but, also... sometmes theres no footprints at all! WTF is up with that?
ibleedgraphite: it was during those times that I got a helicopter
Lani Kai: okay, can we start over?

DCLV: Bitter Mood

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ibleedgraphite: right as I was about to sign off and go to sleep

ibleedgraphite: asshole
Lani Kai: why so early?
ibleedgraphite: 11:15
Lani Kai: is way early
ibleedgraphite: if I want to be a champion
ibleedgraphite: like your stupid whatever the heck that thing is
ibleedgraphite: I need to sleep

DCLIV: Frolic

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ibleedgraphite: you can frolic in the patch of snow and pretend it's Christmas

Lani Kai: except I've never actually frolicked in snow on Christmas

Lani Kai: because it doesn't snow here
ibleedgraphite: that's more realistic anyway
ibleedgraphite: Jesus didn't have snow

DCLIII: Blargh

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ibleedgraphite: that looks like vomit

Lani Kai: thank you
ibleedgraphite: but like, God's vomit

DCLII: Office Space

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ibleedgraphite: I washed my hair in the office bathroom today

Lani Kai: shampoo and everything?
ibleedgraphite: yes 
ibleedgraphite: I think I will do it more 
ibleedgraphite: then I don't have to take a shower at home

DCLI: Cheap

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ibleedgraphite: I need to get in on this long exposure racket
ibleedgraphite: it's so cheap
Lani Kai: actually it's not cheap
Lani Kai: the 9-stop neutral density filter cost $110

DCL: Renumerate

© Colorburn

ibleedgraphite: shouldn't it be DCIL?
Lani Kai: "IL" should never ever appear
Lani Kai: "I" can only be in front of "V" and "X", "L" is preceded by "X"
ibleedgraphite: XLIX seems inefficient compared to IL
Lani Kai: tell that to the Romans
Lani Kai: all of this is inefficient and pretentious compared to Arabic numerals anyway
ibleedgraphite: 0 was invented by the Arabs in order to describe your mom on a scale of 1 to 9

DCXLIX: Craigslist

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Lani Kai: I just tried to post a "for sale" ad for car parts on Craigslist and it said I needed to create an account

Lani Kai: it took me to the page to create an account, but I fear that in the process, it lost the post that I had created

ibleedgraphite: creating an account just means entering a email address and password

ibleedgraphite: it doesn't lose the post
Lani Kai: no, in the past it was like that
Lani Kai: but this one was more elaborate
Lani Kai: phone number verification and everything
ibleedgraphite: hm
ibleedgraphite: it's much easier to post a sex ad

DCXLVIII: DNA

© Colorburn

ibleedgraphite: no likey the colors
ibleedgraphite: the stairs look greasy or something
ibleedgraphite: like someone rubbed grease on them
ibleedgraphite: composition is hokay
ibleedgraphite: what you need is another set of stairs going the other way to make a double helix
ibleedgraphite: it would be like the DNA for a giant robot
Lani Kai: you could have designed that if you carried through with your architecture degree

DCXLVII: Snake

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ibleedgraphite: my phone pauses Snake so you can answer the phone
Lani Kai: games that don't pause when the phone rings are the worst
ibleedgraphite: no
ibleedgraphite: people who call while you are gaming are the worst

DCXLVI: AA-A

© Colorburn

Lani Kai: incidentally, the AA in England is the equivalent of AAA here
ibleedgraphite: are they doubly anonymous, or twice as alcoholic?
ibleedgraphite: oh wait, that would be if AAA was AA
Lani Kai: they come and tow your car
ibleedgraphite: I see, they have smaller cars so they only need two As

DCXLV: Mine

© Colorburn

ibleedgraphite:WTF
ibleedgraphite: one of the photoblogs we link to in our blogroll
ibleedgraphite: lists Colorburn in his blogroll as "Lani Kai's ColorBurn"
Lani Kai: ha

DCXLIV: Burninate

© Colorburn

Lani Kai: I don't know, you tell me what a good place to host photos is
ibleedgraphite: I guess I would just make a website that showed them all in a giant grid
Lani Kai: like so?
ibleedgraphite: kind of, but with good pictures
ibleedgraphite: BURN!

DCXLIII: Exploring

© Colorburn

Lani Kai: I have returned from the land of Lewis and Clark
ibleedgraphite: what land is that?
Lani Kai: the Pacific Northwest
ibleedgraphite: the academic decathlon topic for the year I was in it was Lewis and Clark
ibleedgraphite: I know far too much about it
ibleedgraphite: they had a dog with them named Seaman
ibleedgraphite: actually that's pretty much the only thing I remember
Lani Kai: hahaha
ibleedgraphite: but at some point I had 88 pages of  Lewis and Clark trivia memorized
ibleedgraphite: so what did you discover?
ibleedgraphite: did you give trinkets to the native peoples?
Lani Kai: blankets with smallpox?
ibleedgraphite: Lewis and Clark did not do that

DCXLII: Fortississimo

© Colorburn

Lani Kai: what song is this?
ibleedgraphite: how the fuck would I know?
ibleedgraphite: is it called p subito, written by ffffmf
Lani Kai: no
Lani Kai: it is called Gaspard de la Nuit by Maurice Ravel
Lani Kai: I am now going to listen to it
ibleedgraphite: sneaky
ibleedgraphite: you would think nuit is a masculine noun
Lani Kai: the part in question with the fff is at 8:23