Tuesday, September 29, 2009

DLXX: A Tribute to an Artist

Lani Kai: this photo is a tribute
Lani Kai: because that seems to be the cool thing to do these days
ibleedgraphite: who's the silly person who put the Priority Mail sticker there?
ibleedgraphite: the postage to mail the stoplight would be like $1,234,355
Lani Kai: try a flat rate box
Lani Kai: anyway, this is fitting
Lani Kai: Jackson worked on an analog medium
...
R.I.P. Jackson Pollock
January 28, 1912 – August 11, 1956

Sunday, September 27, 2009

DLXIX: No It Doesn't


© Colorburn
ibleedgraphite: why is that one stem bent over?
Lani Kai: hm, I never noticed
Lani Kai: now it's going to bother me
Lani Kai: thanks a lot
ibleedgraphite: it looks like it's performing oral sex on the other stem
Lani Kai: no it doesn't
ibleedgraphite: fine
ibleedgraphite: I was just trying to bother you more

DLXVIII: Power Lines -Reprise-


© Colorburn
ibleedgraphite: wow, it's very vertical
ibleedgraphite: the pole is perfectly parallel with the edges of the frame
Lani Kai: that's the proper way to do it
Lani Kai: have all yours been horizontal?
ibleedgraphite: yes, yes, yes, and no

DLXVII: Complexity


© Colorburn
ibleedgraphite: have you ever bled on your Monopoly set?
Lani Kai: no
...
ibleedgraphite: the proper way to play is to cut off a finger whenever your opponent lands on free parking
ibleedgraphite: anyway, Mr. Moneybags represents the military-industrial complex; notice his hands are bloody

Monday, September 21, 2009

DLXVI: Not a Chance

Lani Kai: was the chance square a landmine?
ibleedgraphite: they don't have landmines in Iraq, just IEDs
ibleedgraphite: in any case, he's definitely not passing Go
Lani Kai: $200 these days is not worth it anyway

Sunday, September 20, 2009

DLXV: Maternal Instincts


© Colorburn
ibleedgraphite: this is the second photo in my series examining the Iraq War using Monopoly and plastic soldiers; it represents the prisoner abuse scandal at Abu Ghraib
...
Lani Kai: that is large
ibleedgraphite: that's what your mom said
Lani Kai: the original image was 3504x1752
ibleedgraphite: that's creepy, how did you know that?
Lani Kai: your mom told me

Saturday, September 19, 2009

DLXIV: Faulty Intelligence


© Colorburn
ibleedgraphite: did you hear about [Trypto]?
Lani Kai: no, what happened?
ibleedgraphite: what?? you don't know?! why did you think he wasn't online or answering the phone or anything?
Lani Kai: look, if I knew, I would have said, "yes, I've heard"
ibleedgraphite: his appendix burst, they rushed him to the hospital a couple days ago
ibleedgraphite: it's really bad; there were complications
Lani Kai: what kind of complications?
ibleedgraphite: apparently his pyloric sphincter is a portal to Narnia
ibleedgraphite: JUST KIDDING EVERYONE! I just changed my screen name; I actually stopped using Trypto like two years ago
...
Lani Kai: I think it's facing the wrong direction
ibleedgraphite: exactly, it represents the rushed decision to invade Iraq after 9/11 based on faulty intelligence and with poorly defined goals
ibleedgraphite: the darkness embodies the murky and morally ambivalent nature of the conflict

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

DLXIII: Google, the Bringer of Odd Visitors

© Lani Kai
Lani Kai: I noticed some Google hits from a while back so I added those
Lani Kai: colorburn pattern
Lani Kai: can you get tan under Lanai?
ibleedgraphite: heh
Lani Kai: photoblogs aboy nude boating
Lani Kai: Rodney Lough Jr blogs
Lani Kai: white as milk photoblog

DLXII: Un Chat

© Lani Kai
ibleedgraphite: was this taken from the perspective of a cat deciding whether or not to eat the flowers?
Lani Kai: no, a cat took that picture with my camera
ibleedgraphite: Henri Cattier-Burmese?

DLXI: Misdirection

© ibleedgraphite
Lani Kai: straight-ahead arrow lights really never made much sense to me
ibleedgraphite: what if there was a red arrow that pointed downwards?
Lani Kai: that typically means it's not ok to drive in that lane,
such as a toll booth that is closed
ibleedgraphite: it doesn't mean you're going to hell?

Sunday, September 13, 2009

DLX: Uuuu

© ibleedgraphite
ibleedgraphite: typing (U) makes a broken heart emoticon in Digsby
Lani Kai: how is a broken heart U?
ibleedgraphite: because u broke my heart
Lani Kai: u for unrequited?
ibleedgraphite: u for ugly...

DLIX: Hardware Semantics

© ibleedgraphite
Lani Kai: I think you should make it black and white
ibleedgraphite: okay
...
ibleedgraphite: what's the difference between screw, bolt, and nuts?
Lani Kai: a nut is typically hexagonal, and has threads on the inside. Screws and bolts are similar--they have threads on the outside, but bolts don't necessarily have a screw head
ibleedgraphite: no
Lani Kai: what do you mean, "no"
ibleedgraphite: nuts are what you use to screw, and then bolt is what you do after you finish screwing

DLVIII: It's Not Necrophilia If The Prophecy Made You Do It

© ibleedgraphite
ibleedgraphite: DONT READ THIS. YOU WILL GET KISSED ON THE NEAREST POSSIBLE FRIDAY BY THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE. TOMORROW WILL BE THE BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE. HOWEVER IF YOU DONT POST THIS COMMENT TO AT LEAST 3 VIDEOS YOU WILL DIE WITHIN 2 DAYS.
Lani Kai: if tomorrow is the best day of my life, I might as well shoot myself after tomorrow
ibleedgraphite: if you shoot yourself tomorrow, you won't be kissed by the love of your life on Friday
Lani Kai: people kiss dead people at the viewing

Friday, September 11, 2009

DLVII: Existentialism

© Lani Kai
Lani Kai: if you take out your lines on Colorburn
Lani Kai: it is largely incoherent
Lani Kai: but if you take out all of mine it is eerily similar to Garfield Minus Garfield
ibleedgraphite: the existential rambling of a psychotic photographer?

DLVI: Un-American

© ibleedgraphite
Lani Kai: this is the American dream?
Trypto: actually it's a really old anti-drug sticker from 1st grade
Trypto: that I attached to a random object in the house

Thursday, September 10, 2009

DLV: Vaguely So

© Lani Kai

Lani Kai: it's already been two months since Utah?
ibleedgraphite: that's it?
ibleedgraphite: it feels like a pretty long time ago to me
...
ibleedgraphite: oooh
ibleedgraphite: the background is vaguely ominous

Monday, September 07, 2009

DLIV: Imitation

© Lani Kai
ibleedgraphite: I don't need supreme quality
ibleedgraphite: I need good-enough quality
Lani Kai: clearly, you are not ambitious enough
ibleedgraphite: is there a word for "satisfaction and excitement from good-enough quality"?
Lani Kai: off-brand